It takes a lot to say you're letting something go. What's even harder is putting your hands up, admitting you have no control, and attempting to move on from whatever it may be... In a timely manner. It's difficult because what we're walking away from is most often familiar and therefore, we naturally think we need it.
I've been riding the deep thoughts train for about a month now. I've been slowly letting go of things that suck the energy out of me. Truly, it's been exhilarating. Completely freeing. Even still, I'm left with feelings of resentment and exhaustion.
There definitely isn't a direct key that leads to happiness, but I know the one that leads to sadness loves to partner up with anger. Together, the two appear unbeatable. They capture you between the desire to yell and the desire to cry. They leave you stuck not knowing how to explain how you feel and most importantly, they prevent you from moving on.
I'm convinced that anger is just sadness covered up. It's an emotion that's become distorted between us as humans because our instinct is to always put on "the face."
"I'm fine."
"I don't need help."
"I'm not upset."
We tend to forget that emotions were created to represent our heart. We tend to forget that our feelings are meant to be shared. I don't know about you, but I've never been changed, affected, or touched something that's been kept inside.
Emotions need to be displayed. Stories need to be told.
Otherwise, moving on never takes place. Growth never occurs. Progress is never made.
Today, I'm coming to terms with the way I feel and I'm going to be honest about it. My word for 2013 was honesty and I realize that I haven't addressed that to its fullest extent in my life yet. I've worked through a lot of things this year, but I've avoided that one because I know it won't be an easy task.
I'm confident that there are far more wonderful things ahead than any of those I'm leaving behind... And I'm confident there is GRACE for when I fall, fail, and feel like giving up.
