Lately, I feel as if I've witnessed a lot of comparison. I've stumbled across posts upon posts that talk about the struggle with feeling compared or inadequate. Although I didn't feel as if I struggle with this particular feeling, it made me re-evaluate some of my own thoughts, actions, and words... Eventually, I realized that even though I think I'm confident in the person I am, there are parts of me I'm insecure about and areas that I'm far too negative in.
Harmless, right? I'm not actually going to shave her hair off and take it as my own.
Wrong, actually. Isn't saying that I want someone else's hair, eyes, smile, clothes, etc. saying that I'm not confident in and grateful for my own?
I'm not saying it's not okay to want that gorgeous scarf on the Target clearance rack, or the faith of a friend who encourages me. I'm not saying it's not okay to want the legs one of my runner friends has, or want to be on vacation in the same beautiful location as a family member is.
What I AM saying is if I chose to embrace my own uniqueness fully and completely instead of constantly wanting what others have, would it make me more grateful for the blessings right in front of me? Would it make me more confident in my own beauty?
The reality of it all is that NO ONE is the same or even remotely similar to another. We are each so unique... Complete with our own quirks, personalities, and features. You are you... And there is a magic about you that's all your own. It's unrepeatable.
I want to start living in a way that LOVES instead of compares. Instead of saying "I want" something someone else has, how about I say...
I love Danielle's heart for children.
I love Chelsea's quirkiness.
I love Holly's sense of humor.
I love Alexis' hair.
I love Ashley's honesty.
I love Mandy's voice.
Furthermore, I want to be able to look at myself and say...
I love how patient I can be.
I love my strange habits.
I love that I'm good at putting my thoughts into words.
I love that I have my own style.
More than anything, I was to be able to say that I absolutely, 100% adore my imperfections and the fact that they make me the woman that I am.
I want to be confident in my own beauty, my own personality, my own quirks, my own style.
The list continues on. I want to be confident in the woman that God has created me to be... And I want to be unashamed, secure, and confident in that person and that person alone. No comparisons, to setbacks, no limitations. Just me.
{All photo credit to Jen Lessinger Photography}
Earrings // Forever 21
Necklace // Groopdealz
Dress // Kiki La'Rue
Sandals // Wet Seal
Heels // Charlotte Russe
Starting today, the comparisons stop and the embracing begins.
22 comments:
Great post, Kenzie. It's definitely okay to admire what others have, and in some cases, strive to have that (example: the strong faith, the optimism, things like that), but comparing ourselves to others can be lethal. If we were all the same, this world would be a really boring place!
This is such a lovely post! And it's something I've thought about too. I've noticed how easy it is to comment on a picture or blog post "I'm so jealous!!!" And those words seem so harmless, but I've actually really started to think about what they mean. I don't want to be a jealous person! So why would I comment that? Now I try to comment complementary things instead :)
Like YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL IN THOSE PICTURES!
I love this post. Just what I needed to read today! Thank you! PS: Your pictures are gorgeous!
I love the message of your post! This has something I've believed for a long time. I have my own insecurities AND my own confidences--and I think it's so importance to embrace and enjoy your own talents and your own self rather than ever wishing you had the characteristics of someone else.
Of course, you can certainly appreciate their characteristics...but if you're wanting them for your own, that's crossing into the region of covetousness, which is not a pretty emotion.
Love this!! You look great! :) I was so tempted to order that dress a while back but never did!
I love, love, LOVE this post.
You're so right kenz! <3
Also, you are seriously stunning!
Kenzinator, there are SO many things I LOVE about this post!
"There's a magic about you that's all your own." is what really stood out to me.
You have wisdom beyond your years!!!!!
XOXO
Gorgeous girl!! I love this post. :)
What an awesome post. It can be so hard to NOT compare ourselves to others, that's for sure. Heaven knows I am guilty of it as well. But I love your change in perspective, and admiring the qualities of others, rather than wanting them.
Your pics are just fabulous!
Your pictures are gorgeous and this post is amazing! :) I really like the insight that telling someone you want their hair might be portraying or inwardly saying that you aren't necessarily happy with yours! It reminded me that compliments are great, but I shouldn't covet that part of a person. And who knows, maybe those people are wishing they had our hair instead of theirs! :)
This is one of the sweetest post I've ever read :) I love you because of your kind heart and your gentle soul. I'm so lucky to know you! Don't you ever change :)
I love this! You're a great writer. And you're right, we should stop saying "I want this" about someone and instead just say "I love this." Very inspiring. :)
This is awesome. You're awesome! Such a great post.
LOVE THIS! LOVE YOU!
and everything about you!
You are truly beautiful on the inside, and on the outside! :):) love you!
Kenzie,
This post made me tear up, literally. It was such a wonderful post, being and staying true to yourself and not wanting to change just because you don't feel perfect in one way.
Hannah
Words as Palindromes
You are absolutely right about commenting on someones perc. I am a grandmother. I got caught up in that same scenario, in my early 20's. It took me a few years to figure out that I was only hurting my own self by wanting to be like someone else. I was so caught up in it, it took me several years to bow out of the whole entire scene. I was never really the same after those years. But also, I had a boyfriend, whom I loved dearly. He eventually left, and my life has never been the same since. I wish I could say it was, but I can't. He died last year. I went to the funeral and cried my eyes out. I still loved him after all these years. It's been 32 of them. No replacement to be had. It's sad isn't it?
seriously.
so so beautiful.
xxo
Kenzie,
This is such a great post. I'm going to share it!
Kelly
Beautifully written Kenzie!! This is such a great reminder for all of us!
Your pictures are absolutely beautiful!
you are so right. it's easy to love the great things about other people, but sometimes it's harder to recognize that in ourselves. sometimes someone will give me a compliment and instead of just thanking them and appreciating it, all of a sudden I'm insecure about it or dismiss it immediately. love you for this and thanks for the reminder!
That is amazing. And you're quite wise beyond your years, girl. If only I had that mindset when I was your age. I hope to raise my daughter to feel the same way!!!!!
I love that you don't let JA kick your butt, but you kick JA's butt! I love that you always have a smile & a kind word for somebody!